


And I Love Him

by Khoshekh42



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: (very little angst), Fluff and Angst, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Pararibulitis (Dirk Gently), Wedding Planning, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-10
Updated: 2019-08-10
Packaged: 2020-08-16 04:09:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20191000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Khoshekh42/pseuds/Khoshekh42
Summary: It sounds odd to say that Todd was happy not an hour after learning that Priest had pulled strings and was trying to get Dirk deported back to Romania, but it was true. He knew that it was technically illegal to exploit the system and marry his best friend for the purpose of keeping him in the country, but Todd was punk. Fuck the system, fuck Priest, and fuck the universe.And hey, if keeping Dirk in the country meant getting to marry him, then Todd wasn't going to complain.However, things start to get sticky as many secrets are told, kept, and uncovered, and Todd begins to wonder whether this was a good idea after all.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> TW for a description of an anxiety attack and a pararibulitis attack.

“Dude, just tell him.” Amanda had always been very insistent that Todd would benefit from telling Dirk about his more romantic feelings towards him. 

“How many times do I have to explain this, Amanda? He might be gay, but he doesn’t think of me like that. I’m probably not even remotely his type.”

“Oh, if you know his ‘type’ so well, then tell me. Who is his type?”

“I don’t know… Someone like him. With a good heart, and without all my…” Todd waved down at himself, “Shittiness.”

“Yeah you’ve done some shitty things, but you do have a good heart.” Amanda pushed, before downing the rest of her drink. “Whatever. If you wanna be lonely for the rest of your life, then have at it.” She waved for the bartender to pour her another drink.

“But just realize that at this rate, he’s gonna think that you aren’t an option, and then go falling in love with someone else. So, don’t come crying to me on Dirk’s wedding day, getting married to another man.”

Todd scoffed, but the seed of doubt had been sown. What if Dirk did end up falling in love with someone else?

He could picture the scenes perfectly, like something was projecting them on the inside of his skull. Dirk introducing him to some Generic Attractive Man, telling him how they met when Dirk had been doing who-knew-what for that case with the missing Egyptian artifacts that they’d solved the prior week. (It turned out that they were just falling backwards in time because of some previously scheduled temporal anomaly, and that it couldn’t possibly have been stopped by anyone). Then Dirk would tell Todd that they were dating. Soon they’d be moving in together, and Todd could see Dirk’s face as he worriedly asked him if Todd was okay with him moving out of their shared apartment. _“Yeah,”_ Todd would say as his heart would be breaking, _“Of course it’s okay, this was more about convenience anyway, wasn’t it?” _Then on their wedding day, Todd saw Dirk happier than he had ever been, and Todd grinning and bearing it as Dirk’s best man. He saw sobbing himself to sleep the night after. Dirk would eventually grow further and further apart from Todd, replacing him as partner in the Detective Agency with the Generic Attractive Man that he’d married.

Amanda snapped in front of Todd’s face, pulling him back to the present. “See? I knew it bothered you, I can see you fuming.”

Todd sighed. “Listen, we’ll cross that bridge if we get there.”

Amanda held her hands up in surrender. “Fine, fine. But _when_ you get there, I’m gonna have fun telling him about all this.”

“No! You can’t tell him. Not even _if_ we get together. Just… promise me you won’t tell him ever about any of this?”

“Ugh. You’re so boring. But fine, I promise.”

They continued talking about nothing in particular, laughing about stupid things they’d done in the past, remembering the times that they’d slid down the stairs in their childhood home on couch cushions when Amanda was eight, Todd twenty. Their mom was pissed every time they did it, telling Todd that he was an adult and should know better than to do things that were so stupid and destructive. Todd recalled one time that he’d just laughed it off and told her that college kids were known for being stupid and destructive, his mom wasn’t pleased with his answer, but his dad had nearly pissed himself for laughing.

Todd rather missed those days, where he could just joke around with his parents. That had been, of course, before he’d lied about pararibulitis, and long before Amanda had told them about it. Nowadays, he felt like he was treading on eggshells around them. He hadn’t told them anything about his real pararibulitis attacks, nor did he have plans to say a word. They kept telling him that they forgave him, but Todd’s anxiety just wouldn’t let him believe them. Todd had stopped telling them anything when he started lying to them, a stupid idea that if he stopped communicating, then he could distance himself from the guilt.

It hadn’t worked, Todd knew he would never rid himself of the oppressive guilt that weighed on him constantly.

But for now, he just laughed with his sister.

Todd was coming back to a seemingly empty office from his dinner with Amanda, humming some song by The Mountain Goats that he’d forgotten the lyrics to long ago. He paused at a quiet sound, something soft and pathetic. He turned towards Dirk’s desk, an uneasy feeling in his stomach telling him that it might have been Dirk himself.

“Todd?” Dirk’s voice was quiet and wavering, as if he’d been crying. He was sitting on the floor, leaning against his desk.

“Jesus, Dirk.” Todd rushed over, dropping his keys on the floor, and crouching down to be at eye-level with Dirk. The ‘what happened?’ was left unspoken but implied.

“Priest. It must have been Priest.” Dirk mumbled, his breathing was quick and shallow, and he seemed lightly disoriented.

Todd knew a panic attack when he saw one.

“Okay, Dirk.” He said in his calmest voice, “I’m going to stand up and turn off the light, but I want you to know that I’m going to stay with you.”

Todd stood and walked to the light switch, trying not to make any sudden movements. After darkening the room, he returned to his spot next to Dirk.

Todd wasn’t sure what to do when Dirk was having a panic attack, but he knew what helped with his own panic attacks that he’d had since high school. Distraction was always a good tactic.

“Do you want me to come any closer?”

Dirk’s breathing quickened, and he jerked his head in a ‘no’.

“That’s okay. I won’t move from here. So, I was talking to Amanda at the bar, and you know, we used to have so much fun when she was a kid, and I was just in college. I remember one time, she’d climbed a tree when we were playing tag, and I tried to follow her. Now I was a pretty lanky guy, no muscle on me. I got so mad that she was able to get higher in the tree than I was. Our dad came out and laughed while I was stuck on one side of the tree while Amanda was already climbing down the other side. She always was the athletic one, she played baseball in high school. Have you ever had an interest in baseball? You don't have to answer if you don't want to.”

Dirk shook his head, “Never had an interest.” He seemed to be calming down somewhat. “Too gay.”

Todd snorted. “Yeah that adds up.”

Dirk took a deep shaky breath. He shifted from his spot to wrap his arms around Todd. He was still trembling slightly, and Todd did his best to hold him as tight as possible.

Then, muffled from having his face buried in Todd’s chest, “I'm being deported.”

Todd's eyes snapped to Dirk, wide and horrified instead of being soft and comforting.

“You're…”

“Priest. He still hates me, has it out for me. He must’ve pulled strings, and now… I'm being sent back to a country I hardly even remember. I mean, I spent less than three _years_ in Romania, what right does the fucking _government_ have to send me there?” Dirk’s eyes were dripping, and his breathing was quickening again.

“What about the universe, what if it wants you here, won't it keep you here regardless?” Todd himself was beginning to panic now.

“And what if it wants me in Romania?” Dirk’s voice was dull, as if he’d already put quite a bit of thought into it.

“What if _I_ want you here?”

Dirk looked up at him, detangling himself from Todd's arms, and gave a small worried gasp. “Todd you have to promise to not pick any fights with Priest when I'm gone.”

“No! Stop talking like we're just gonna sit back and let this happen! I'm not gonna let you go to Romania. Not like this.”

“That's sweet and all, Todd, but there's nothing you can do.”

“There has to be _something_.” Todd rocked back to sit on his feet. He grabbed the letter that Dirk had been clutching, looking to Dirk to ask if it was okay to read it. Dirk nodded, and Todd began to scan the document. Within a few moments, Todd grabbed his phone, and started to search something. It was a long minute later when Todd’s eyes widened. “There we go, that’s it.”

Dirk leaned over to look at what Todd was pointing at. He furrowed his eyebrows. “But I'm not-”

“I know.”

“Todd I can't get married if I have no one to marry.” He looked at Todd as if he were stupid.

“But you do.”

Dirk gave him a quizzical look that told Todd to elaborate.

“Dirk Gently, will you marry me?”

Dirk stared at him dumbly for a moment. “What?”

“Marry me! People have done it before, we just ‘weren't ready yet’ and now we are because ‘the schedule’s been forced up’. Dirk this could work, you could stay!”

“But what if they don't believe us?” Dirk still seemed somewhat apprehensive.

“Dirk we are literally living together. No one's gonna think it’s that weird. Please,” Todd grabbed Dirk's hands. “You have to stay.”

Dirk’s eyes had widened when Todd had grabbed his hands, and he nodded now, as if in a trance. “Yeah. I have to stay… This could work.”

Deep in Todd’s mind, he knew it was a terrible idea, that he was going to get drunk on the ‘reality' of being with Dirk and he was going to eventually slip up and show his true colors. But for now… If it meant that Dirk could stay in Seattle, in America, then it was worth it.

“What are we going to tell the others?” Dirk asked.

Todd cringed, not quite having thought about anyone else.

“We’re going to have to lie to them. For now, at least. There’s probably going to be an investigation, and it’ll be a hell of a lot easier to do this if everyone else thinks it’s true.” Todd hated that he would have to lie again to Amanda… But surely she would understand? That he was lying to save Dirk? He swallowed hard and tried not to think about it too much.

Dirk was nodding slowly. “I think you should call your sister and ask her to meet up.”

“Yeah. We'll need to come up with a whole story first. When did we get together?”

“After the Sound of Nothing? Maybe we hooked up that night and we realized that we both kind of didn't mind the idea of making it a more regular thing.”

Todd flushed, the nonchalant way that Dirk was talking about the idea of them having sex was disorienting to say the least.

“Okay. That answers how too, I guess. Uh, what about why we didn't tell anyone?”

“Maybe just because we didn't want to complicate things during the investigation?”

“Alright, and then didn't know how to tell people after it, because it had been a while and now we’re used to it and it would be awkward to bring it up at this point.”

Dirk nodded enthusiastically, as if he were really starting to get into the idea. “And this is the perfect reason to tell people. Getting married and all.” Dirk’s eyes shone at his words, panic attack finally fully in the past. Dirk’s excitement was contagious, and Todd was grinning as he called up Amanda.

_“What’s up, loser?_

“Hey, I know we just met for dinner, but could you stop by the office? I have something to tell you, and I don't want to wait.”

_“You sound happy. Fine, the Rowdies and I were on our way to that old racist guy’s house to slash his tires, you're on the way. See you in about five minutes”_

Dirk and Todd were about to keep discussing plans and fake histories, when Dirk gasped, brows arched and eyes wide. “Todd, before Amanda gets here… I need you to kiss me.”

Todd was taken aback. “...Why?” (Not that he was going to complain.)

“Amanda will expect us to be used to kissing, casual touches will go a long way to selling the bit.”

“Yeah… okay.” Todd was suddenly nervous. “So, like, now?

Dirk let out an exasperated noise, and surged forward himself, Todd was barely able to let out a ‘meep!’ of surprise before Dirk’s lips were on his.

With them still on the ground, and the lights still out from Dirk’s panic attack, it felt so much more intimate than Todd was expecting. Dirk’s hands were in his hair, Todd’s lips were pliable against Dirk’s, and he immediately opened up for him. He could practically hear Amanda laughing at him, calling him a ‘disgusting bottom’.

Dirk kissed like a god, Todd soon decided. Just the right amount of tongue, and when he pulled softly at Todd’s bottom lip with his teeth, Todd couldn't do anything but whimper.

Soon Dirk was all but straddling Todd, who was barely restraining himself from moaning loudly.

A knock at the door interrupted them, a voice from the other side calling out, “You're locked.”

Dirk pulled back from Todd, and they sat there, eyes locked and breathing heavy.

Todd finally coughed awkwardly, glancing down at the carpet. “To sell the bit.” He was almost trying to convince himself.

“Of course.”

The knocking was back.

Todd stood, and flicked on the light switch before unlocking and opening the door to find Amanda standing somewhat annoyed on the other side.

“Dude. So what is it that you _needed_ to tell me at nine o’clock at night?”

Todd grinned again, heart fluttering with excitement, letting himself forget for a second that it was a lie.

“How about you come in?”

She did, Todd stepping aside to let her do so, glancing over at Dirk, having stood up as well, to see a similar gleeful expression on his face.

She sat down in Todd’s desk chair, “So?”

“Well…” Todd glanced over at Dirk to make sure he was okay with him telling her. Dirk nodded.

“Well, Dirk got a letter, and it was basically telling him that he was going to… be deported to Romania-”

“And this is good how?”

“Well, you know how you can’t be deported if you’re married to a U.S. citizen?”

Amanda let out of bark of laughter and gave Todd an ‘oh you are _fucked’ _look.

“Now I know what you’re thinking, but… Well, I might have let you think that we weren’t together at all. I know that I shouldn’t have lied to you,” Todd took a deep breath, and cast his eyes down to the floor, “But it happened after the Sound of Nothing concert- I know we told you about that- and then we didn’t want to tell people until after the case, but then once the case was over it was too late to say anything without it sounding weird, and-” Todd was interrupted by Amanda hugging him tightly.

She held him out at arm's length. “Dude! You’re getting married, that’s fucking awesome! I can’t be that mad at you when you’re getting married.” Her grin suddenly fell and she looked at him sternly. “Now if you ever hurt Dirk, I _will_ cut you.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be doing this with Dirk, not me?” He laughed nervously.

“Nah, I know he won’t hurt you, he couldn’t hurt a damn thing.”

She sat back down, grinning again. “Bro, how are you gonna tell mom and dad? Have you even told them that you’re bi?”

Todd paled at the thought. It wasn't that their parents were conservative, or bigoted, but he’d figured out his bisexuality right in the middle of his whole ‘lying and stealing’ phase, so he didn't tell them, and, like his lie now, by the time it was all over it felt too late to actually tell them. But having to tell them that he was bi while also explaining that he’d ‘had a secret boyfriend’ to whom he was now getting married? That was gonna suck.

“You want me there for moral support when you do tell ‘em? I could come out at the same time if you want.”

“No, I’ve got this. It’s my fault that I didn't tell them, I need to own up to it.”

Amanda punched him in the arm and whooped. “Atta boy! See I told you just today that you've gotten better.”

Todd scoffed, and now it was Dirk who hit him.

“You have gotten better, Todd. You're a good person, and from what I hear, that’s an improvement.”

Somehow, hearing it from Dirk was more comforting. Sure, hearing it from Amanda was always thrilling, but from Dirk it felt… Calming.

“Thank you.” And before his brain could tell his heart it was a bad idea, he reached up and pecked Dirk on the cheek. _“To sell the bit,”_ he told himself, though deep down he knew he had just wanted to do it.

Dirk flushed at the kiss, but gave that little smirk that he always had when he was trying not to smile.

Amanda was grinning unabashedly.

“I'll tell them tomorrow.” Todd knew he was red as well, but he was trying to ignore that. “They're probably in bed by now.”

Amanda laughed. “For people that had such punk kids, you'd think they'd be a little more punk themselves. In any case, when’s the wedding? I'd better be one of y'all’s best woman.”

“Mine.” Todd answered, “And, uh, we haven't really discussed that. Pretty soon I guess, what with the whole… Romania thing. We haven't really worked out the details yet.”

“I will be wearing a yellow suit.” Dirk interjected matter-of-factly.

“That's fine with me.” Todd told him, running his hand along the sleeve of the yellow jacket that Dirk was wearing. “You look good in yellow.”

Dirk smiled genuinely down at him, and a warm feeling blossomed in Todd’s chest.

“Okay, I'm gonna go, the Rowdies are expecting me.”

“Gotta go vandalize an old racist asshole’s car?”

“Duh. Have fun, bro!” She smirked suggestively, and headed out, leaving Todd and Dirk alone.

A beat:

“You should wear purple. It’ll compliment my yellow.”

“Yeah okay. Amanda could wear a lighter purple, and your best person or whatever can wear a lighter yellow. That’d be cute.”

Dirk’s eyes lit up, “Farah’d look amazing in a light yellow. Todd you’re a genius!”

As Dirk was saying this, Farah herself opened the door. “Guys?”

“Farah!”

“Okay, cause I was checking my phone and it said the door was unlocked, but neither of you were answering your phones.”

They both looked guiltily at their phones, both lying unnoticed on the floor.

“Yes. Sorry.”

Her demeanor changed from worried and uptight to slightly annoyed.

“And why were you discussing what I'd look good wearing? Honestly, how gay are you two?”

“Farah, how would you like to be my best woman?” Dirk was bouncing on the balls of his feet.

Farah’s eyebrows shot up. “You're… getting married? To…”

Todd raised his hand, grinning but a little embarrassed.

“Why?” (Farah honestly wouldn't put it past them to say it was for a case.)

“Well I was going to be deported, and-”

“You were what?” She squinted. “You realize that that’s illegal. You can't just… marry anyone. Oh, Dirk this is bad.” She began to pace nervously back and forth in front of the door.

“No! It’s fine, Farah. You see Todd and I have been, well, we didn't mean to keep it from people but after a certain amount of time it was just… Too late.”

“So you've been dating in secret?” Farah’s shoulders began to relax.

“Precisely!”

“Oh. Oh!” Farah paused, “Oh my god, guys! Congratulations!” She grabbed and hugged them both. Letting them go, she was beaming brightly. “When’s the wedding?”

“Ah, well.” Dirk had the sense to look a little sheepish. “We honestly have no idea, what with all of this coming so quickly. It has to be soon, I suppose, but as for an actual date…”

“You know that you want me to wear a light yellow, but you have no idea when the actual wedding is?” At Dirk’s nod, Farah chuckled, “Just like you.”

They stood there in the silence, basking in the warmth and happiness for just a moment, before Farah stifled a yawn.

“I should be heading back to go to sleep. Congrats guys, I’m glad you finally figured it out. Don’t forget to lock up on your way out.”

She headed out, leaving Dirk and Todd alone again.

“Thank you.” Dirk said quietly. “For… All of this. It’s really sweet of you.”

“It’s nothing.”

“It really isn’t. You’re going to marry me, that’s…” Dirk shook his head, “I never imagined that anyone would ever do anything that big for me. Even if it’s not actually real.”

“Hey, it’s not like I had anyone else. And you’re important to me, Dirk. I couldn’t just let you be deported like it was nothing. Priest is gonna have to try harder than that.”

“Yes, well. Thank you anyway.”

Todd smiled at Dirk, offering his hand, “Come on. Let’s go home.”


	2. Chapter 2

Todd woke up the following morning still feeling the aftereffects of the strange euphoric rollercoaster that was the past night. Apparently, Dirk was as well, because the smell of pancakes was in the air. Dirk wasn’t the best cook, but he could bake extraordinary things, which sort of made sense to Todd in a weird way.

Dirk was whistling something that sounded like nothing that Todd had ever heard, though he’d learned to never ask what he was whistling, because while Dirk surely knew that he wasn’t the best at it, he would still get overly offended by the question. (Although it could be all a huge joke that Todd hadn’t caught on to yet).

He was soon to catch on to the elaborate joke, played probably by the universe itself, because when Dirk opened his mouth to sing, the strangest thing came out.

“Elle écoute la java

Mais elle ne la danse pas

Elle ne regarde même pas la piste

Et ses yeux amoureux

Suivent le jeu nerveux

Et les doigts secs et longues de l'artiste

Ça lui rentre dans la peau.”

His French was beautiful, and his voice was something that Todd would expect more from a Broadway actor. But here Dirk was, in Todd’s kitchen, still wearing his plaid pajama pants and old t-shirt, whisking away at some pancake mix, and singing the most beautiful thing that Todd had ever heard.

As Dirk tapped the whisk on the side of the bowl, he finished up with the French and started up singing something in English

“He's a fool and don't I know it

But a fool can have his charms

I'm in love and don't I show it

Like a babe in arms.”

Todd’s heart pounded in his chest, so hard that Todd could barely believe that Dirk couldn’t hear it himself. He never wanted to leave this moment, leaning in the entranceway to the kitchen, staring at the man who was technically his fiancé, just so, so in love.

Todd was _fucked._

As Dirk spun to turn on the stove, he saw Todd in the doorway and startled. Todd tried to compose himself and look less like he had just been practically swooning at the sound of Dirk’s voice. Before he made a massive fool of himself and said something that he would end up massively regretting, he just joked: “So, you can’t whistle for shit, but you have the voice of an angel?”

Okay so maybe he _would _make a massive fool of himself.

Dirk coughed awkwardly, and turned his gaze to the linoleum, then muttered “We should really clean the floor, it’s filthy.”

“It looks like the filth is mostly pancake batter.” Todd was glad that Dirk had changed the subject for them, and not put the pressure on Todd to continue his praise.

“Yes, well. You shouldn’t complain, or else you won’t get pancakes.” Dirk replied haughtily.

“You want any help with that?” Todd offered, reaching out for the bowl. Dirk jerked it out of his reach, looking horrified.

“No!” He squinted. “I don’t think so, mister.” Dirk shook his head, somewhat disbelievingly. “Todd, trying to help with pancakes. _Trying to pretend that he can cook_.” He finished accusatorily.

Todd held his hands up in surrender. “Fine. If you don’t want any help, that’s your prerogative.”

Todd turned to exit, but Dirk stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. He looked somewhat uncomfortable when Todd turned to look, “If you’re willing, how about you call up your parents and ask if they’d like to visit? I’d rather them hear this all from you, rather than Amanda mentioning it.”

“Yeah… That’s probably a good idea.” Todd could hear his voice wavering slightly.

“Todd,” Dirk’s voice was soft, gentle. “If you don’t want to do this… That’s okay. I’ll find some other way.”

“No.” Todd’s voice was steady now, more confident, and he looked directly into Dirk’s eyes. “I want to do this.”

As Todd left, he barely heard a small “Thanks,” from Dirk.

He dialed up his parent’s landline, one that had stayed the same since Todd could remember. It was his mother that answered.

“Hey mom.”

_“Todd!” _She sounded genuinely happy to hear him, and Todd’s heart sank at the idea that he was going to make her so happy with more lies.

_“Teddy, get on the other line, it’s Todd.”_

There was a click, and his father’s voice echoed from the phone. _“Hey there, Todd. What’s up? You don’t usually call this early.”_

Todd could almost hear the rest of the thought, _‘You never call period.’_ He cringed and took a deep breath.

“I’m just excited, sorry. Did I wake either of you?”

_“No, we were both up. Excited about what, sweetie?” _His mom responded.

“Well, I’d kind of rather tell you in person.” He shuffled his feet, feeling so guilty, but actually strangely excited. “Do you have time to come over for lunch or dinner?”

_“Oh!”_ Teddy exclaimed, _“Sandra, do you think we could reschedule with James and Patricia?”_

_“Of course! Ooh, Todd!” _Sandra squealed, _“Are we finally going to get to see your house and meet this mysterious roommate that Amanda’s told us so much about? You know she keeps referring to him as your ‘partner in crime’?” _

“Uh, yeah actually.” Todd knew that they would be able to hear his smile in his voice, and he rubbed the back of his neck embarrassedly.

_“Well if James and Patty will reschedule, we’ll be there at five o’clock for dinner? Does that work?” _Teddy sounded positively thrilled to be able to meet Dirk, who he hadn’t even heard the name of yet, let alone anything specific. Todd hadn’t told his parents Dirk’s name for fear that they would find their detective agency. He supposed that they’d have to learn about it now.

“Yeah, I think… hold on.” He turned the phone away from his mouth, “Dirk? Does five o’clock work for you?”

“I think, but we’ll ha- shit.”

Todd spoke into the receiver again, “Yeah he said it’ll work, hold on, I think he’s spilled the pancake batter again.”

“I have not!” Dirk shouted, sounding affronted.

With a peek into the kitchen, Todd confirmed that there was in fact batter all over the floor, and he returned to the call with his parents. “Yeah he has.”

Sandra giggled, _“He sounds just like your father. Always making a mess in the kitchen, then refusing to clean it up.”_

Todd laughed genuinely, “Dirk pretends to clean it up, but he’s honestly just shuffling the mess around.”

_“His name’s Dirk, huh?”_

Todd swore internally. “Yes. Just don’t you dare google him before you get here. I want you to meet him first.”

_“Alright, fine.” Sandra sighed, then whispered loudly: “Not that your father would know how to find someone on the internet.”_

_“Why I-”_

“Okay, I’ll let you talk about dad’s inabilities on your own. I need to go save the kitchen.”

_“Oh alright. See you soon, honey! We love you!”_

“Love you too,” Todd all but mumbled, “I’ll text you the address as soon as we’ve cleaned up a bit. Bye.” He hung up and let out a long breath and went to help Dirk clean up the batter (aka clean up the whole kitchen, which was almost completely coated in flour, sugar, and what looked like two whole eggs all by himself).

Soon of course, this turned into a frenzied hurry of cleaning the whole apartment in the realization that Todd’s parents would probably want a tour. Halfway through cleaning his room, Todd was struck with the horror that he and Dirk would be expected to share a room at this point. When he hollered this to Dirk, there was a stampeding of feet, and Dirk appeared in his doorway with a similar expression of horror.

They quickly started shoving Todd’s important things into Dirk’s room (after Todd conceded that Dirk’s bed was more comfortable than Todd’s), stopping at moving Todd’s dresser and anything too heavy, opting instead to hurriedly shove some of Todd’s t-shirts and jeans into Dirk’s own dresser.

They made sure to clean up Todd’s room and try to make it look as un-lived in as possible, which ended when Dirk found a disgusting old sock under Todd’s bed, and he refused to help Todd any longer.

Todd finished with his room at around one and had barely stopped himself from collapsing on the bed in his (old?) room in relief. Neither of them had even begun to discuss whether this would be a permanent change, and neither was really looking forward to such a conversation.

By half past four, Todd had sent his address to his mother, having finally finished cleaning the whole apartment, and he was fidgeting awkwardly with the lamp in the living room, waiting for the knock at the door. Todd could tell that Dirk was nervous as well.

About fifteen till, Todd got a text from Amanda reading _‘Good luck with it, if they don’t like Dirk I’ll just introduce them to the Rowdies’_

Todd snorted, and showed the text to Dirk, who grimaced.

Todd rolled his eyes. “Dirk, they’ll love you. You’re polite, and kind, and British. They’ll love everything about you.”

Dirk pulled a pained expression. “Yes, but British-ness can only go so far. Lots of people find me annoying, Todd.”

“Well, I don’t. And if they do, then they can suck it the fuck up.” Todd smiled at Dirk, “And hey, it’s twenty-nineteen, they can’t do jack shit about it, we’ll get married whether they approve or not.”

Dirk seemed sufficiently calmed, so Todd returned to obsessively straightening the lamp on the side table. Dirk sighed, frustrated. “_Todd_.”

Todd looked at him, as if to say, ‘What about it?’

Dirk stood from his spot on the recliner and walked over to grab Todd’s wrists. He guided him towards the hammock chair, then forced him to sit in it. Dirk had been the one to insist on getting the hammock chair, and then Todd had tried to put it up and proceeded to fail miserably at doing so. Amanda had been the one to install it in the end. It was only slightly embarrassing that Todd had been bested by his kid sister, but she hadn’t lorded it over him for too long, so he considered it a win.

“Relax, Todd.” Dirk gave a gentle push to the chair, getting it swinging.

Todd finally did relax, swinging himself slowly with one foot, tucking the other underneath himself. All until the knock at the door finally came, and suddenly his palms were sweating again. He stood and wiped his hands on his jeans before walking to answer the door. Todd turned to look at Dirk, who nodded, and Todd finally opened the door for his parents.

They immediately smothered him in hugs, his mother actually ruffled his hair. Dirk looked pleased, almost as if he were plotting.

Finally, they turned their attention to Dirk.

“Hi! You must be Dirk, I’m Sandra, this is Theodore, but just call him Teddy. I’m afraid I can’t say I’ve heard much about you from Todd.” She shot a mock angry look at Todd, before shaking Dirk’s hand.

“That’s on me, actually. I’m not the most public person.” He beamed and shook Teddy’s hand as well.

They all chatted idly about nothing much, it was mostly Sandra and Teddy admiring what they’d done with the living room of their apartment. Everything that Teddy was saying seemed to be hinting at him wanting them to show them the rest. (“Is there a blue theme in the rest of the place?”, “Does this trim go all through the house?”)

Todd was decidedly ignoring his dad’s obviousness, knowing that they’d know what was up as soon as they saw Dirk’s (and now his) room. He did at least want to tell them himself, instead of them just figuring it out.

At last, Sandra (who seemed more interested in Todd’s exciting news than the apartment) asked “So you mentioned that you wanted to say something in person…?”

Todd felt a pull in his chest, as if his body were telling him desperately to run away.

“I’m gonna talk, and I don’t want you to interrupt me.” Todd glanced at Dirk and got a boost of confidence, “Dirk is a detective. A very good one.” He could practically feel Dirk beaming at him.

“And a few months ago, we were investigating this whole thing in Bergsberg, and we were at a concert as part of it, and… Some things happened, and ultimately Dirk and I… began dating.” Todd was looking down at his hands, which were twisting and pulling at each other. Dirk laid a comforting hand on his middle back.

“Yesterday,” Todd continued, “Dirk was told that he was going to be deported. So… We’re getting married.”

He waited a silent moment before daring to look up at his parents.

He was ambushed by his mother, grabbing both he and Dirk in a huge hug. It looked like his father was crying a little.

“Oh, my baby boy is getting married!” She was crushing him just a bit.

“Mom, geez.” He was eventually able to extract himself, but his complaining was offset by the grin on his face.

As Sandra was fussing over him, Todd could see Teddy sternly giving The Talk to Dirk.

“Dad, please, he’s not gonna hurt me. Just relax.”

Teddy rounded on him, eyebrows raised. “Relax? I find out my son is finally in a serious relationship- about to be married- to someone that we actually seem to like, and you tell me to _relax_?”

Todd threw his head back (a little melodramatically), but he laughed.

“Todd, you don’t know if I’ll hurt you.” Dirk said, his voice earnest. “What with all of the… danger.” He ended flatly, finally seeing Todd trying to mime at him to stop talking. Todd just shook his head.

“Todd, is this detective work that you’re helping Dirk with really that dangerous?” Sandra’s voice was dangerous itself.

“Mom, it’s fine. It’s bound to be at least a little more dangerous than being a bellhop, but I _like _doing this. I feel like I’m actually _doing _something.”

Sandra squinted at her son for a moment longer, before sighing. “Alright… Just as long as you promise that you’re going to try to stay safe.”

Todd nodded, “I promise.” He looked more towards Dirk than his mother as he said this, which earned him a small smile from his fiancé.

Sandra didn't seem to mind, and in fact she melted at the sight of them. “Come on, how about a picture to show Patty back home? She'll be thrilled.”

Todd sighed, but complied, knowing that any resistance would just make his mother more insistent. Besides, he'd be expected to invite some of his parents’ friends to the wedding, so there was really no need to try to hide anything.

He wrapped his hand around Dirk’s waist, smiling and posing for his mother. Dirk leaned into him, and at the very last moment, planted a kiss on Todd’s cheek, and Todd could feel Dirk’s smile through it. Todd barely contained his surprise, although deep down he was secretly pleased. He smiled, and then felt immediately guilty. He was taking advantage of Dirk, in a way. Using him. He was in love with Dirk, and somehow, he was able to devise a plot to marry him even though Dirk didn’t love him back. He kept the smile on his face, but it became somewhat strained. He hadn’t even thought of how much he was deceiving Dirk here, not just his family. His hand started to shake, so he closed his eyes for a fraction of a second and just tried to _breathe. _

_Don’t have an attack._

_Not now._

_Not here._

Todd took in another breath, but it was as if it wasn’t oxygenated. Just a flimsy excuse for air filled with nitrogen and carbon dioxide. He gasped, and gasped again, but the oxygen just wasn’t there. He clawed at his throat as if opening a hole in it would grant him relief.

Faintly, Todd heard Dirk shout his name. Everything seemed muted and echoey.

And Todd was being lowered to the ground by someone with strong arms wrapped around him. A pill was being forced into his mouth.

He swallowed.

And gasped, again, and again. Until there was hope on the horizon, and oxygen flooded his desperate lungs.

Todd was on his knees, Dirk’s arms still wrapped around him.

“Oh god…” A faint whisper from his mother. He couldn’t even bear to look at her.

So he just sobbed, sobbed into Dirk’s arms that squeezed him even tighter, Dirk’s hands rubbing his back comfortingly.

The sound of his mother’s high heels clicking on the floor towards him was crisp, a stark difference to before, but that didn’t mean it was any less terrifying to Todd.

“Todd, sweetheart?”

Todd couldn’t do anything but sob again.

“Todd, why didn’t you tell us?” Todd could hear a tremor in his mother’s voice.

“Because I- because,” Todd took in a deep shaky breath, “I felt bad, I didn’t want to put that on you again.”

“Todd…”

“No, I… I don’t… I don’t want you to do anything, I know I fucked up, and I know that there’s nothing I can do to make that better, so I don’t want you to help me, I don’t need to have that on my conscience.”

“You’ve gotten better.” Dirk spoke up now.

Todd was about to argue, but Dirk butted in again.

“The fact that you feel bad about it now means that you’ve changed _for the better._”

“But-” Todd tried again, finally looking up. Dirk had tears in his eyes and he looked fierce.

“No! Todd, you are more than your past! You are your kindness, your selflessness, your love for those that you care about. Don’t sell yourself short, you’re amazing, and I love you _so much _for that.”

He almost sounded sincere. It almost broke Todd’s heart.

“I love you too.” Todd’s voice was meek. “Thank you.”

He finally turned to his parents, facing them like he should have done months earlier. His voice shook when he spoke, “I know that I’ve fucked up, and I have no intentions to repeat the past. I don’t want you to foot the bill, I’ll cover the cost of my meds with my share of the detective agency. I don’t expect another cent from you.”

“That’s very mature, Todd, but if you ever need any help, don’t hesitate to ask me or your father. We’re your parents, and we love you completely unconditionally.”

“Fine.” Todd conceded, “But it won’t come to that.”

“And you,” She rounded on Dirk, “Tell us if he does need help, because I know my son, and I know he wouldn’t tell us if it gets bad.” Dirk nodded dutifully, and Sandra looked pleased with herself.

Sandra hugged Todd tightly before pulling Teddy in too. Dirk joined of his own volition.

It genuinely felt good to have so much love.

They had a very nice dinner at a pizza parlor down the street, and Todd found himself sad to see them go by the time eight o’clock came, and they decided to head home. They congratulated him once again, and left Todd and Dirk standing by the dumpy red pick-up truck that Dirk had gotten from a man who’d cheated on his wife (and hired Dirk to find dirt on her, which all in all didn’t turn out well for the man).

Todd sighed, somewhat exhausted from socializing for so long.

“Ready to head home?” Dirk asked, sounding as if he were just as tired as Todd was.

“Yeah. Definitely.”

Their ride home was relatively quiet, until Todd spoke quietly. “Thanks for today. I know my parents can get kind of intense sometimes, but you really handled it well.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Dirk waved his hand (the only one that was actually on the steering wheel. Todd, having become accustomed to this by now, was unconcerned). “Your parents were wonderful, though they were much less punk rock than I imagined they would be.” He said to Todd with a smile on his face.

Todd laughed, “Yeah, I was kind of embarrassed by them in high school, you know how stupid sixteen-year-old boys can be. I would bring friends back to the house to play songs from bands that were only cool because no one had ever heard of them, and my parents were always _aggressively _nice to them, offering cookies, and whatever beverages that they’d like. I knew they were doing it specifically to annoy me, and I hated it. Now I think it was hilarious.” Todd’s gaze was far into the horizon, reminiscing on the past, before everything had changed.

“Besides,” Todd said, coming back into the present, “They loved you. Absolutely adored you.”

Dirk looked exceptionally smug with himself.

With the sun having set hours ago, the night air was cool as Todd stepped out of the trashy red truck. He stretched, breathing in the fresh air (as fresh as city air could be). He smiled at Dirk, and headed into the building and into their shared apartment.

It wasn’t until Todd flicked on the lights in his bedroom did he realize that it wasn’t truly _his _anymore.

“Shit.” He muttered, mostly to himself. He didn’t revel in the idea of sleeping next to the man that he had been in love with since well before their second major case together.

Leaning on the doorframe, he scratched at the back of his neck, completely unsure of what to do, when Dirk’s voice- tinged with amusement- warbled from his own room, “Coming to bed, darling?”

Todd’s stomach fluttered, and he kicked himself again for letting his heart and dick think before his brain, putting him in this whole predicament.

So, letting his brain take the backseat once again, he called back: “Of course, dear, just a minute!”

He changed into his pajamas quickly, and he walked into Dirk’s room, feeling like an intruder. The main light in the room was off, but a bedside table lit the room with a warm glow. Despite having lived with the man for several months now, Todd had only once been in Dirk’s room, and that had been at the very beginning, helping him move boxes into his new room. The walls were all different colors now, one a bright sky blue, one a pale green, one a light but cheery yellow, and the last a beautiful lavender color. There was a dresser on the green wall, with a slew of framed photographs sitting at the top. Most were of he and Todd, a few had Farah, and two featured Amanda as well. One was an older photo, one that seemed worn, of a woman that Todd didn’t know. Dirk himself was wearing a dark t-shirt, color indistinguishable in the low light. He sported a pair of tartan pajama pants, and white fuzzy socks.

Dirk patted the bed beside him, smiling sweetly at Todd. “There’s room for two.”

Climbing into the bed, Todd yawned, having not quite realized the level of his exhaustion.

“Good night, Todd.” Dirk said quietly, before shutting off the lamp, and settling into the bed himself.

“Night, Dirk.”

Todd drifted off to sleep, with visions of marrying Dirk dancing through his head.


	3. Chapter 3

Waking up the next morning felt nigh impossible, what with the comfort of a warm body pressing up against his back, snug under blankets and in the arms of-

Dirk.

Todd jolted awake, panicking and wondering if he should move before Dirk himself woke. It was too late, however, for Dirk was stirring, arms tightening and pulling Todd closer to his chest. Todd was able to pinpoint the exact moment that Dirk realized what was going on, because Dirk’s arms stiffened and Dirk sat up, staring down at Todd with a kind of embarrassed horror.

Face red, Dirk began stuttering an explanation, “I- Todd. I mean, I should have-”

“It’s fine.” Todd smiled somewhat sleepily, stifling a yawn and sitting up himself.

“-told you I tend to become a koala as I- oh.” The blush was stubbornly not draining from Dirk’s face, seemingly only becoming more intense.

“Like I said,” Todd said, finally losing the battle against his yawn, “S’fine.”

Todd swung his legs off the bed and headed for the kitchen to make his morning coffee. Dirk’s footsteps padded not far behind his.

As Dirk made his customary breakfast of frosted flakes and strawberries, and Todd was making his coffee, the extra layer of domesticity was weighing on Todd. Even though they lived in the same apartment, they usually weren’t going about their morning routines at the same time, (Dirk usually woke much earlier than Todd), and they certainly had never woke up in each other’s arms.

They sat together at their breakfast bar, Dirk with his cereal, Todd with his coffee, trying to wake up enough to function.

As life force flowed into Todd finally, “You know, we should start trying to plan this wedding.”

Dirk lit up, “Oh! Yes, I keep forgetting,” He ran back into his room and emerged with a small plastic bag.

“This was my mother’s wedding band,” He explained as he shook the ring in the bag out onto his hand, “She gave it to me right before, well, Blackwing. Anyway, I had it resized.” He held the ring out for Todd, who was motionless for a moment before realizing that Dirk meant for him to take it.

It was a silver band with three leaves forming part of the band. Todd twisted it in his fingers, strangely enchanted by it. He was disappointed to hand it back to Dirk, but Dirk gave him an odd look.

“Do you not like it? If you don’t like it you don’t have to wear it, I just thought-”

“What? No, I love it, but this isn’t for me is it? I couldn’t take this, it was your mother’s. Honestly, I can’t take this.”

Dirk smiled and covered Todd’s hands with his own. “Yes, you can. I want you to have it. I promised myself that I would give this ring to someone that I’d marry. I if I’m marrying you, then I want you to have it.”

Todd felt a little choked up at the idea that Dirk was actually giving him his mother’s wedding ring, but he suppressed his need to cry, and just smiled and thanked Dirk. Trying on the ring, it fit him perfectly.

“How did you know my ring size?” Todd asked, a little surprised at how well it fit. He didn’t even know his own ring size.

“Hunch.” Dirk shrugged his shoulders and peered at the band on Todd’s ring finger. Nodding in approval, he returned to his cereal that was quickly becoming quite soggy.

Todd was distracted from his coffee, abandoning it in favor of furtively photographing it to send to his sister.

Todd 8:27 A.M.- Dirk just gave me his mother’s wedding ring

Amanda 8:29 A.M.- dude what did I tell you? The gay adores you.

Amanda 8:29 A.M.- I would correct myself, but I think that what I put is actually more accurate

Todd 8:29 A.M.- lol yeah definitely

Todd 8:30 A.M.- So what am I gonna do?

Amanda 8:30 A.M.- ??? You marry him

Todd 8:32 A.M.- duh, but like, I need to buy a ring. How tf am I gonna get a ring as nice as this without it seeming like I’m just covering my ass or upstaging him. I didn’t even think about getting a ring.

Amanda 8:32 A.M.- hmmm, you’ve got a fair point. Cause if you get him a bad ring he’s just gonna hate you and not want to marry you.

Amanda 8:33 A.M.- chill Todd. Like I said, the gay adores you. He’s gonna marry you whether you get him a nice ring or not.

Amanda 8:33 A.M.- Todd I see you typing, there are no ‘buts’ in this, Dirk honest to god loves you. Stop freaking out.

Todd 8:34 A.M.- Of course I’m freaking out, I’m getting married. I’d like to see you getting married on a schedule with no prior warning without freaking out.

Amanda 8:35 A.M.- sure, but you can chill about this. The ring is not the most important thing. If it makes you feel better, I’ll go ring shopping with you after 11, the boys and I have plans to throw bricks at Ted Cruz’s car and then set it on fire, he’s in Seattle for some bitch of a reason.

Todd 8:35 A.M.- YES

Todd 8:35 A.M.- THANK YOU SO MUCH

Todd 8:35 A.M.- Also that’s a very valid reason to not be ring shopping with me earlier.

Todd 8:36 A.M.- btw, since you’re my best woman, we want you in a lilac or lavender color. Dirk’s decided that he’s wearing yellow and I’m wearing purple, then you’re wearing light purple and Farah’s wearing a light yellow.

Amanda 8:36 A.M.- that’s fine with me. The dude really loves his colors doesn’t he.

Todd 8:36 A.M.- lol yeah, you should see his room.

Amanda 8:37 A.M.- I’ll leave any and all bedroom activities to you two.

Todd 8:37 A.M.- Dude

Todd 8:37 A.M.- Anyway, see you at 11?

Amanda 8:37 A.M.- chill

Todd slid his phone into his pocket, beaming.

“I’ll probably end up looking for a purple tux with Amanda at 11 today.” To be fair, Todd did plan on dragging Amanda to look at tuxes as well.

“Perfect! I’ll see if I can work something out with Farah today. Make sure you get something that’ll go well with yellow. In fact, send me a picture of it- No, wait, I don’t want to see it. Send me a close-up so that I can only see what color it is, so that I can make sure it’ll match.” Dirk rambled, the sugar from the frosted flakes finally kicking in.

Todd just shook his head, overwhelmed by Dirk’s hyperness so early in the morning, but fond nonetheless.

Passing the time by idly looking online at where to shop for a ring nearby them. A few options came up, and as Todd continued searching, he started getting more and more excited. Excited to get a ring for Dirk, excited for the wedding itself, excited for the idea that he might spend the rest of his life staying by Dirk’s side.

Eleven o’clock came sooner than Todd had expected, not that he was complaining. He was in the shower when Amanda arrived at the door, and as he was getting dressed in Dirk’s room (feeling altogether even more naked for the fact that he was sharing the room now) he was able to hear Amanda and Dirk chatting excitedly outside.

As he opened the bedroom door, he heard shushing from the living room. Todd squinted, suspicion creeping over him.

“What are you two plotting out here?” He asked.

“Psh, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Amanda’s lie might have been beleivable were it not for the mischevious gleam in her eyes.

“Uh-huh. Sure.” Todd made sure she knew exactly what he thought of _that_.

“Ready to suit up?”

“Yeah.” Todd grinned, and wondered what he would look like in a nice dark plum color. He rarely wore purple, but if Dirk thought he would look good in it, then that’s what he would wear. Hell, purple was rapidly becoming his favorite color. He was so fucked, and he knew it.

Amanda started to head out the door, and as Todd followed, he looked back at Dirk for a moment. Dirk smiled, “Have fun Todd, and don’t forget to send me a picture of the color!”

“Of course. You have fun too, love you.” The words were out of his mouth before he even thought about it.

But Dirk didn’t even flinch, he just smiled wider, and: “I love you too, Todd.”

Todd’s heart ached as he walked down to the lobby, wanting so bad for all of this to be real.

Amanda must have seen an expression on his face, “You good?”

“Yeah, just wondering how I got here. God, I mean just a year ago I was stuck in a shit job with no one and nothing to my name. Now I’ve got an apartment, a job I love- even if it’s a little dangerous, and a _fianc__é._ How did I get so lucky, after all the shit I’ve done.”

Amanda sighed as she hailed a cab. “Todd, you know I was pissed at you for a while, but… I’ve forgiven you. Our parents have forgiven you. You aren’t a bad person anymore. How many times do I have to tell you that you deserve to be loved, you deserve everything you have. Except your pararibulitis.” She added as a rushed afterthought. “That’s the shittiest thing I think I’ve seen the universe do. I mean, if you’d gotten it the middle of your lies that’d’ve been one thing, but you’d come clean. You were on the road to being a good person. And even if you had gotten the damn thing back then, while you might have deserved it, I wouldn’t wish it on you. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy- and you were far from that even when I hated you.”

Todd, despite having heard this spiel from Amanda and Dirk before, was floored. He never understood how Amanda could speak so passionately about him, sing his praises even after what he did to her. “Thank you.” He muttered.

“You’re welcome. Now what the fuck do you have to do to get a cab around here?”

They did eventually get a cab, directing it to one of the shops that Todd had found online that morning.

It was a nice shop, with a fancy looking chandelier hanging in the middle of the shop, making it seem a little more high end than it was.

“Hello!” One of the employees said as they walked in, “Welcome to Mills Jewelry! I’m Shauna, what can I help you with today?” She was cheery, and that immediately intimidated Todd.

Thankfully, Amanda took over. “My brother here is looking for a ring for his fiancé.”

Todd shuffled his feet awkwardly, unsure of what he was supposed to say.

“Is this for the wedding, or for another occasion?” Shauna asked them with more cheer than Todd thought he’d ever had in his life.

“Uh,” Todd answered gracefully. “For the wedding I guess, I mean, it was a kind of spur of the moment thing. He doesn’t usually wear jewelry, though.” He casually slipped in the fact that Dirk was a man, hoping that this wouldn’t be a problem for Shauna.

Shauna didn’t seem phased in the slightest, however. “Alright, so are you looking for a traditional gold band, or something a little more like that?” She pointed at Todd’s hand and the leafy silver band on it.

Todd looked down at the ring, still not used to having it on his finger. “Maybe something a little different, definitely not just a traditional ring. Nothing about him is traditional.” He said, smiling to himself, “I like the idea of it being silver, like this one. Perhaps something with more color?”

Shauna nodded, and told them to wait there for a moment.

Amanda punched Todd’s arm. “Dude! This is great!”

“I know, but did you have to punch me?” He rubbed his arm, slightly resenting the fact that Amanda was much stronger than he would ever be.

“Yes I absolutely did.” She deadpanned.

When Shauna came back, she had a tray of silver rings, all of which had different stones on them, adding just the spark of color that Dirk would love. The tray also had a small folded slip of paper in the corner that piqued Todd’s interest for a reason he couldn’t quite explain.

As she showed him the different rings, explaining what kind of stones were in each one, there was one specific ring that caught his eye. It had some engraved lines in it, and in the center it had a line of six small gemstones making up a rainbow. Todd kept his eye on it as Shauna continued showing him the rest of the rings.

She got to the one that Todd was looking at. “This one is a little odd.”

Todd perked up immediately. “How so?”

“It was given to us in an envelope on the front stoop of the store. The envelope had no stamp, no return adress, nothing. It came with this note.” She pulled the paper from the corner, and handed it to Todd.

_I give you this ring in the hope that it will make someone as happy as it made me and my partner. I have only the request that the ring be returned to a jewelry store after it is no longer needed, whether that be because of death or divorce, with instruction to do the same after the next recipient is no longer using it. Good luck to the person who purchases this ring, may you prosper always._

_-H_

As he finished reading the note, Todd had already made up his mind. He looked up to Shauna. “I’ll take it.”

He could practically feel Amanda’s curiosity radiating from her, and he couldn’t help but agree that he wanted to know the full story behind the ring.

“Do you mind if I take the note to show to my fiancé?”

“That’s totally fine. Will it need to be resized?”

“No.” Todd blurted out, and although he had no idea why he’d decided that (for he had no idea what Dirk’s ring size might be), he had a strange feeling that this was the ring that the universe wanted Dirk to have, and that it would fit him perfectly.

“Alright then! Let me just put that in a box for you, and I’ll get you to pay at the register.”

“Okay.”

She headed into the back room again, and as she did, Amanda punched him for the second time. “Dude!” She practically squealed.

“Right?” He wasn’t even mad. “Isn’t this the most fucking perfect ring for him ever?”

“Absolutely! Honestly, how the fuck did we find it in the first goddamn store we went to? I thought this would take us all day.” Amanda was bouncing on the balls of her feet.

“I know!” Todd was thrilled that he’d found such a perfect ring for Dirk and so soon, he had expected it to take at least all day, and that it would be a mediocre ring that he’d be slightly embarressed to give to Dirk. But this he was genuinely excited to show Dirk. He had a slight fear that he was going to accidentally spill his heart to Dirk and embarrass himself that way, but nevertheless, he couldn’t wait.

“Okay,” Shauna came out of the back room with a ring box, “That’ll be…” She typed something into a calculator, “three-hundred and eighteen dollars and twelve cents.”

Todd happily gave her his credit card, not batting an eye at spending so much on someone who was supposed to just be his friend.

Amanda gave an un-Amanda-like squeal, and she punched Todd in the arm for the third and (Todd hoped) final time. “I’m so excited for you!”

Todd couldn’t help but grin as Shauna handed him the ring. It was as if his whole life was finally ‘clicking’. He had finally reached a point where he felt that his life was completely going in the right direction.

There was still a part of him that wanted to break down and admit everything to Dirk. Admit to him that he’d gone mad with his search for him after he’d been taken by Blackwing, admit to him how dark he’d gotten in those painful months and that he’d almost lost hope completely by the end, admit to him that he’d sat in the dark confines of his room and sobbed more than he’d like to say, admit that he was deeply, irrovocably in love with him.

Todd loved Dirk for sure. He was in love with him, for sure. Todd had no doubt that he was, though he had little intentions of Dirk ever finding out. Some days it was hard to keep it to himself, which was why he’d told Amanda way back.

Amanda pulled him into a tight side hug, doing the uncharacteristic squeal again.

“Come on,” She said happily, “Let’s go back to your fiancé, I’ll let you give that ring to him.”

As their taxi drove them back to Todd’s apartment, Todd curiously asked, “Why are you so happy for me?”

Amanda looked at him like he’d told her that he’d decided to fuck off and leave everything that he’d built, and Todd sighed, “You know what I mean. You’re genuinely excited for me. You don’t get excited often, unless it’s about blowing something up, or, you know, destroying Ted Cruz’s car. And you certainly don’t get excited about jewelry stores.”

“Theodore James Brotzman, why the fuck do you _think_ I’m happy? You’re my brother! And you’re getting married to an amazing man that I actually like. If you’d come to me and said that you were going to get married to that bitch Riley, then I would’ve been legally obligated to slap you then and there. But I know you’re happy with him, and- unlike Riley- I know that he loves you just as much as you love him.”

Guilt burned in Todd’s chest, but- for just a moment- he let the soothing words wash over him and calm him down.

“Thank you.”

“Any time, Theo.”

“Ugh, never _mind_. You’re the worst.” He was still smiling.

They arrived back at the apartment at approximately two in the afternoon, and both Dirk and Farah were crowded around Dirk’s laptop, pointing and muttering at the screen. They didn’t even notice that Todd and Amanda had walked in.

“I still like the forest. Something about the air… And if we don’t invite the Rowdies, we could do the elopement package because we’d have I think just enough people.” Dirk told Farah thoughtfully, counting on his fingers.

“You know Amanda’ll want to invite the Rowdies. Plus, if Todd wants to bring some of his other friends, then they’ll be allowed. Besides, I’ll cover the extra cost.” Farah waved her hand, as if whatever the cost was no big deal (even though Todd knew it had to be more than he could ever cover himself).

“Hey.” Todd finally spoke, shaking Dirk and Farah from their reverie.

“Todd! Excellent, so we’re looking at venues, and I _think _Farah and I have it figured out.” He beamed proudly at Todd.

“Give it to me.” Todd and Amanda walked around to look at the screen.

“So there’s this Treehouse Point place not far from Seattle, and they offer a beautiful venue for weddings, _and_ if I’m right, I’ve helped out one of the owners with his daughter’s missing cockatiel, so I can call him up and see if we could get a spot with such short notice.”

“Holy crap, Dirk, this looks amazing.” He stood there in awe of the pictures of the beautiful greenery in which they might be able to get married, and for a moment, Todd forgot what he was doing, daydreaming of his wedding like an eight year old.

“Todd has something for you, Dirk.”

“Oh!” Dirk exclaimed, a beat before his face became annoyed, “You never sent me pictures.”

“Well,” Todd was a little embarrassed to do this in front of Amanda and Farah, but he continued, “I didn’t actually shop for a suit.”

Now Dirk looked perplexed. “Then what-?” He was cut off when Todd pulled out the ring box.

“I had no idea that you were going to give me a ring- your mother’s wedding ring of all things, so I felt bad when I didn’t have anything for you. I got this, somehow, at the very first shop Amanda and I visited, but I knew it was the right one.”

Dirk was staring at him, mesmerized.

“So,” Todd smiled, and dropped down to one knee. “I’ll do this again… Dirk Gently, will you marry me?” He opened the box to show the ring to Dirk.

Dirk mouth fell, just as a bird that had just run into a window might, stunned and graceless, but still precious and beautiful.

“But- I didn’t expect… I didn’t need-”

“I don’t care, you’re taking it anyway.” Todd told him, “Besides, it came with a note.”

Dirk’s brow furrowed as Todd handed him the slip of paper, but as he read what it said, his eyes gleamed just the same as they always did when he got an especially fun case.

Finally, Dirk looked up at Todd and beamed. “Thank you. This is perfect.”

“Come on, try on the ring.” Todd gestured the open ring box towards his fiancé (Todd still couldn’t believe that that was an accurate term) and watched nervously as Dirk put it on his finger.

It fit perfectly, just as Todd thought it would. He couldn’t help feeling a little prideful as he watched Dirk admire the ring.

There was a sniff, and all attention turned to Farah, who was still sitting at the computer, blinking away tears.

“Same girl,” Amanda walked over and gave Farah a side hug. Farah sniffed again and lowered her head to wipe her eyes on her sleeve.

“Farah are you crying?” Dirk looked a little taken aback.

“Shut up.”

“Well, as a respectable British man, I have to say that I am _not _okay with this.” Dirk deadpanned.

“Respectable?” Todd teased, causing Amanda and Farah to let out snorts of laughter.

Dirk looked mock-offended. “I’m… going to pretend I don’t know why you’re laughing.”

They sat there giggling for a moment, Todd ridding himself of the strange adrenaline from asking Dirk to marry him.

“You know,” Todd said as something dawned on him, “You never said yes.”

Dirk scoffed, “Please. As if I would say no.”

“You never know.” Todd smiled at Dirk, and looped his arm around his waist, and leaned his head onto his shoulder.

Amanda hurriedly fished out her phone, “Pictures! I need pictures of you two.”

Dirk slung his arm around Todd’s shoulder, squeezing it comfortingly, obviously remembering the last time someone was taking a picture of them. Todd squeezed Dirk’s waist back to tell him that he was fine.

“Now,” Dirk said when Amanda was done with her pictures, “It’s time to get all of you people into some nice clothes, I know a good tailor.”

What happened next was mostly Todd smiling and telling Dirk he looked amazing, and not remotely knowing what the difference between a Windsor knot and an Eldridge knot, about both of which Dirk seemed to have many strong opinions. Dirk insisted that they all go along, as his tailor- a one Mr. Mariano that Dirk had helped with a case of his tailoring tricks being stolen- could do dresses as well, and they _might as well _get their best women their dresses while they were there.

Todd sent a picture to his mother of them all in their heavily pinned suits and dresses, he and Dirk back to back, with Farah and Amanda next to their respective grooms, all with finger guns up Charlie’s angel style. They all were grinning, obviously enjoying themselves. Dirk wore a gorgeous goldenrod yellow suit, complete with a vest. Todd had his deep purple suit, looking better than he’d expected to look. Amanda wore a beautiful lilac dress, with a lacy top and chiffon skirt. Finally, Farah had on the same dress that Amanda wore, but in a daffodil color.

Todd 5:49 P.M.- _Picture Attachment_

Sandra 5:53 P.M.- OMG you look so handsome!!! Tell Dirk he looks very handsome as well. Amanda is beautiful too, as well as that woman in the yellow. Your father and I love the colors!! Love you. -Mom

Todd 5:53 P.M.- Mom you don’t have to sign your texts, I’ve told you this

Sandra 5:55 P.M.- Don’t talk to your mother like this!! ;)

Todd debated telling his mother that the wink-y face emoji was almost exclusively used for sexual purposes but decided against it.

Todd 5:56 P.M.- Ok mom, I’ve got to go, the tailor wants us out of the suits. Love you.

Sandra 5:57 P.M.- O.K. I love you, your dad says he loves you too!!!

Todd rolled his eyes good-naturedly at his mother’s use of exclamation points before heading back into the dressing room to get the suit off with the help of Dirk’s tailor.

“Dirk Gently is a good man,” Mr. Mariano told him, “I do not expect you to hurt him, but if you do,” He menacingly pointed a pin at Todd, “You will have many people after you.”

“I’ll try my best. I can’t promise anything,” Todd found himself telling more of the truth than he expected, “But I know that he’s a good man. And I’ll do what I can to make myself worthy of him.”

Mr. Mariano nodded approvingly. “The way he speaks of you, it is obvious how much he loves you.”

_‘Platonically, maybe.’_ Todd thought ruefully, but he said nothing, just smiled in response.

And honestly, Todd knew that Dirk loved him platonically. Only during Todd’s deepest and darkest depression spirals did he think that Dirk was just putting up with him, or that he still hated him from all the shit he’d said back during their first case.

Heading out of the dressing room with his normal t-shirt and jeans, feeling much more comfortable, he found Dirk still in his yellow suit, talking animatedly with the cashier.

“And I was sitting there on the floor, crying. And then he came up and helped me calm down, and when I told him that I was going to be deported, he _proposed_! Then and there! I said yes of course, only slightly annoyed that I hadn’t gotten to propose first- I’d already gotten my mother’s ring resized you see- and- oh!” Dirk exclaimed, finally seeing Todd, “Hello, Todd! I was just telling Gabriele here how you proposed!”

“I didn’t know you’d already gotten the ring resized.” Todd said, playing along with the ruse.

Dirk turned all sorts of shades of red. “W- well, that would have ruined the surprise, wouldn’t it? Besides it’s not like I thought we’d be getting married any time soon.”

And, just like all the other times, Todd could almost believe him. He could feel his face heating up, so he just smiled and kissed Dirk chastely.

Dirk smiled back at him, before heading into the dressing room to get de-suited by Mr. Mariano.

“He’s a nice guy,” Gabriele told him, “Mr. Mariano still has his picture up in the back room. He tells us the story of how Dirk Gently saved the business every Christmas.”

It soothed Todd to know that for every person that hated Dirk- wanted to experiment on him- there were two that adored Dirk, and knew him to be the great man he was.

“Yeah, he’s one of a kind.” Todd was staring fondly at the door to the dressing room.

“God you’re so whipped.” Amanda told him, grinning.

“Is that bad?” Todd asked, knowing that she was right.

“No, it’s good. It means you won’t hurt him, not intentionally anyway.”

Todd forced the smile to stay on his face, the guilt just building each time someone told him not to hurt Dirk, knowing that he was hurting him even by helping him.

Dirk left the dressing room, motioning for Amanda to go in to change.

After idly chatting for the next few minutes as Amanda and Farah got changed into their normal clothes, Dirk shooed them out of the tailors so that he could pay without them seeing the price.

Todd was about to complain, but Dirk physically pushed him out of the shop with an “I’ll be out soon.”

“God, I don’t even want to think about how much he’s about to spend.” Todd remarked as they all stood awkwardly on the sidewalk.

“I guess you’re marrying rich.” Amanda joked, but with a similar look of dismay on her face.

Dirk bounded out of the tailor’s, “What are you looking so forlorn about?” He said, stopping in his tracks.

“Just that you’re spending so much on us. That can’t have been cheap, Dirk.”

Dirk waved a hand dismissively, “That’s no reason to worry. I’ve got the means to do so, and I enjoy doing so.”

After a bit more complaining on Todd’s part, Dirk won the argument and the conversation was over.


	4. Chapter 4

The next week was a flurry of activity. Dirk was put in charge of the venue since he knew a guy, Todd was put in charge of Invitations, Amanda claimed dealing with catering, Farah was working on a guest list and any financial business. Meanwhile, Dirk had put a sign on the door of the detective agency:

_Partners of Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency will be unavailable until further notice, due to the planning of a wedding._

_Sorry for any inconvenience,_

_-Dirk Gently _

Farah had forced him to put up a sign, knowing that Dirk would stress himself out trying to solve a case and plan a wedding at the same time.

Todd 1:32 P.M.- Do you know the date yet?

Dirk 1:35 P.M.- Not quite. Sergei is trying to fit us in within the next couple months, but it’s difficult to do that in season.

Todd 1:36 P.M.- In season? I didn’t know that weddings had their own season.

Dirk 1:37 P.M.- This is why it’s obvious you aren’t the gay one.

Todd 1:37 P.M.- Whatever. Options on the date?

Dirk 1:40 P.M.- Would Wednesday the 8th work?

Todd: 1:41 P.M.- At this point, anything. At least that gives us some time to work with. Thanks!

Dirk 1:42 P.M.- You’re welcome! Love you!!! <3 <3 <3

Todd rolled his eyes, but his stomach fluttered excitedly. Dirk had started doing this a couple days ago, in a flirty but joking way. Even as Todd was lapping up all the attention he could get, in a way, he hated it. It reminded him how much he _actually _had feelings for Dirk, and it reminded him how much Dirk actually _didn’t _have feelings for him.

He brushed his guilt aside, and went back to creating the invitation adding ‘Wednesday, May the 8th’ in as the date. He carefully typed in the address that Dirk had previously put out for him on a sticky note. After a moment of consideration, he wrote ‘Everything is connected’ down at the bottom, savoring the thought of Dirk’s face as he saw the more personal touch.

Todd 2:13 P.M.- Hey do you have a guest list yet? I’m trying to figure out how many invitations to order.

Farah 2:17 P.M.- So far I’ve got Amanda and I, your parents, the Rowdy 3, Tina and Sherlock, Mona, Lydia, Panto and Silas, and then anyone you want to invite. So total from me is 14 people, but 9 invitations if you combine your parents, the Rowdy 3, and Panto and Silas.

Todd 2:21 P.M.- My parents will want to invite Patty and James, Dirk said he wants to invite a woman named Corrie Lovell from England, I’d like to see if Max and Chrissy would like to come. So that’s 3 more invitations, so 12 total. Maybe I’ll order the 25 pack just to make sure.

Farah 2:21 P.M.- Sounds good!

Todd took a screenshot of the invitation

Todd 2:23 P.M.- _Picture Attachment_

Dirk 2:31 P.M.- Todd that looks wonderful!!! I can’t wait. Thank you :)

Todd 2:34 P.M.- You ok with me ordering the pack of 25? There should be 12 we need to send out, but we could order more just in case.

Dirk 2:34 P.M.- That sounds great!

So, Todd went ahead and ordered the invitations, feeling excited and nervous at the same time. Somehow ordering the invitations seemed like he was finalizing something, and he wasn’t sure whether the excitement or nerves would end up winning out in the end.

Todd sat there waiting for something to happen (though he wasn’t sure of what he was supposed to be waiting for). He was nervous (though he wasn’t sure of what he was supposed to be nervous about).

A ding from his phone told him he’d just gotten a message.

Amanda 2:43 P.M.- Do you like beef and salmon?

Todd 2:44 P.M.- Sure, I know Dirk loves salmon.

Amanda 2:44 P.M.- Okay you two will have to come to Arista Catering at some point to taste test different stuff

Todd 2:45 P.M.- Such a chore… However will it get done?

Amanda 2:45 P.M.- Shut the FUCK UP Todd. If I hear you complaining once about taste testing I’m gonna shove the wedding present I got for you so far up your ass you’ll be able to eat it.

Todd 2:46 P.M.- I’m gonna assume it’s not something that’s edible?

Amanda 2:46 P.M.- You would assume correctly

Todd 2:47 P.M.- How about I invite you to cake testing instead of complaining

Amanda 2:47 P.M.- Smart man, Todd.

Todd 2:48 P.M.- btw is there anyone you want me to invite to the wedding? I’ve ordered extra invitations.

Amanda 2:49 P.M.- Nah as long as Farah and the Rowdy 3 are there I’ll be fine.

Todd 2:50 P.M.- Ok but tell me if you think of anyone

After a few more minutes of sitting uselessly in the computer chair, Todd stood and dug around in the freezer to pull out a microwavable macaroni and cheese meal.

“Turn it inside out so I can see

The part of you that’s drifting over me,” Todd mumble-sang as he threw the mac and cheese into the microwave.

“And when I wake you're, you're never there

But when I sleep you're, you're everywhere

You're everywhere,” Todd twirled around the kitchen, grabbing dirty dishes off the counters and putting them into the sink,

“Just tell me how I got this far

Just tell me why you're here and who you are

'Cause every time I look

You're never there

And every time I sleep

You're always there,” ‘Everywhere’ had been a guilty pleasure song of Todd’s when he was in college, something that he’d listen to when he was infatuated with his crush of the week.

“Cause you’re everywhere to me

And when I close my eyes it’s you I see

You're everything I know

That makes me believe

I'm not alone

I'm not alone,” Todd stood still now, grinning as he belted out the lyrics to the song he hadn’t thought about in years.

“I recognize the way you make me feel

It's hard to think that

You might not be real-”

A hand was at his shoulder, and Todd jumped, immediately embarrassed.

“You’re a good singer, you know Todd.” Dirk grinned at him.

Todd mumbled something incomprehensible and turned to stare at the floor.

“And I even recognized the song!” Dirk smirked, knowing exactly what he was doing.

“It was- I was- college was- shut up, Dirk, you’re one to talk!” Todd stuttered, finally whacking Dirk on the arm with his exclamation. “You’re the one that listens to pop.”

“And you’re the one that thinks that’s a bad thing.” Dirk countered. “And pop isn’t all I listen to. I was in choir at university.”

Todd raised his eyebrows, always excited to learn more about Dirk. “Really?” He asked, ignoring the beeping of the microwave telling him his mac and cheese was done cooking.

“Yes, it wasn’t the best choir, but it sufficed.”

“What would you sing?”

Dirk’s face lit up, “Oh all sorts of things, my favorite thing was a beautiful rendition of ‘Bye Bye Blackbird’”

Todd made a ‘go on’ gesture, leaning back on the counter for the show.

“Oh, no,” Dirk shook his head, a faint blush coming up to tint his cheeks, “I wouldn’t want to bother you. You were about to eat.”

“Dirk,” Todd scoffed, “I wanna hear it.”

“I don’t know if I know all the lyrics anymore… but there is a recording of it I’m sure I could find.”

Todd grinned.

As Dirk fiddled on his phone, trying to find the recording, Todd finally pulled the somewhat congealed macaroni and cheese from the microwave and began to eat it.

Finally the sound of a piano poured out of the tinny speaker on Dirk’s phone.

“Blackbird,” The choir began.

“Blackbird,” It was Dirk’s voice now, and Todd beamed as he realized that Dirk must have been the soloist.

“Singing the blues all day

Right outside of my door

Blackbird who do you sit and say

There's no sunshine in store

All through the winter you hung around

Now I begin to feel homeward bound

Blackbird gotta be on my way

Where there's sunshine galore,”

As the recording continued, Todd had set down his mac and cheese, and was staring at Dirk’s phone, entranced. The song was on youtube, uploaded as ‘Bye Bye Blackbird.wmv’ and Todd committed that to memory so that he could look it up later.

“Bluebird bluebird calling me far away

I've been longing for you

Bluebird bluebird what do I hear you say

Skies are turning to blue,”

Todd finally tore his gaze away from the phone and looked up at Dirk, who was himself staring at the screen, mouthing along the words to the song.

“Blackbird, bye bye,” Todd was almost tearing up as the song ended.

“That was beautiful, Dirk.”

“I know, I loved that song.”

“Thanks for sharing that.”

They'd been sharing a bed for the past week or so, but that didn’t make it any less weird for Todd. Each morning without fail, Todd had woken up in Dirk's arms. And every morning without fail, Dirk had flushed and apologized.

“You know,” Dirk started, shaking Todd out of his own head, “We’ll need a first dance song.”

Todd considered this for a moment. “And I love him. Benjamin Gibbard.”

Dirk tilted his head, thinking. “I like it. Soft. Gay.”

Todd grinned. He fell asleep that night, sound in the knowledge that he'd wake up in the arms of his fiancé.

Just as Todd had planned, he woke up, warm and comfortable in Dirk’s arms. He never wanted to get up, content to live the rest of his days in the arms of his to-be husband. He allowed himself to daydream for a moment, trying to imagine what it would be like if Dirk really were in love with him. Would he make him breakfast in bed? Would he then lie there with him, kissing him idly as if Todd were the only thing in the world? Todd fell further and further into his fantasy before finally drifting off into sleep once again.

When Todd woke again, the bed was vacated, but he could smell frying bacon drifting in from the kitchen. He was just about to get up and wander into the kitchen to get some food, when the food was brought to him. Dirk carried two plates with him, and, sitting down next to Todd, he handed one plate to him.

“I thought a lazy day would be nice.” Dirk told him, smiling sweetly.

Todd could barely stutter out an answer, wondering vaguely how his dream was coming true right in front of his face.

As he sat there, eating breakfast, Todd- still drowsy from sleep- half expected Dirk to kiss him. Dirk instead just stood to put their dishes in the sink.

“Thanks for breakfast.” Todd mumbled. Dirk spun around to face him. He didn’t seem to mind that it was weird or awkward. He beamed brightly at Todd.

“Any time.”

And with that, Dirk left Todd confused and alone. Did this mean that Todd might actually have a chance with Dirk? By this point they were practically a couple without kissing and romance. Did Dirk actually have feelings for Todd?

Todd shook his head before he let himself be overrun with fantasies again. He stood and left to help Dirk with the dishes.

After some time, their lazy day was ‘ruined’ by Amanda calling and telling them that they had an appointment for the caterers for taste testing.

Todd already decided on the beef and salmon buffet before he’d even tried anything else. He was certain that it would be his favorite.

“I’m going to think about that beef for the rest of my life. I want to have it at least one more time before I die.”

“The salmon was quite good…” Dirk mused.

And so it was decided on the beef and salmon, with the rest of the taste testing having been abandoned.

A few days later found Dirk and Todd at another taste-testing session, this time for their wedding cake.

“Will you two be getting married soon?” Clarise- the woman attending to them- asked curiously as Dirk shoved the red velvet cake into his mouth unceremoniously.

“Yeah, we’re about a month out.” Todd told her. “Our schedule was pretty tight. Dirk, act like an adult.”

Dirk grinned mischievously, “Never.”

Clarise laughed. “You two seem like fun. It’s encouraging to see young couples so excited about each other. I’m usually pretty good at judging whether a relationship will last- I get several repeat customers if you know what I mean- you guys seem like you’ll stick to ‘til death do us part’.”

“I hope so.” Dirk told her, a small smile gracing his face. What Todd wouldn’t give for it to be real. He wanted to reply with something deep and meaningful, but instead what came out of his mouth was:

“What do you think of the lemon?”

Dirk startled at the sudden change of subject. He looked a little hurt, and Todd immediately regretted it. He opened his mouth to apologize, but Dirk just forced a smile.

“It’s alright, but I actually really like the honey-lavender.”

Todd wasn’t thrilled with the honey-lavender, but he wasn’t about to say that.

“Yeah, it was good! Is that what you want to go with?”

“Sure. If that’s what you like too.”

“Yeah, ‘course.” There was the guilt again.

After finalizing the cake design- lilac colored fondant with little light yellow flowers on it- they paid (Dirk paid), and exited the shop.

Todd spoke up before Dirk could say anything. “I’m sorry about that. I didn’t mean that I don’t want us to stick together, I do. Really, honest-to-god, I do. I just… No one’s ever really wanted to do that with me before. It freaked me out a little.”

Dirk smiled again- the same small smile that he’d had back in the shop. “It’s okay. It’s been difficult for me to wrap my head around you wanting to be around me at all, let alone for the rest of your life. I spent so much of my life alone and friendless, that now that I have someone in my corner… I don’t quite know how to deal with it.”

Todd returned his smile. And he kissed him gently on the cheek, right there on the sidewalk. He ignored the alarm bells going off in his head that were telling him that it was a bad idea.

Dirk flushed, but he kept a grin on his face. He offered his hand to Todd, who took it gladly.

“Come on, Todd. Let’s go home.”

Todd was almost at a loss for words as they headed home. _His _home. _Their _home.

Despite this, he chatted about nothing much with Dirk, as he thought about how domestic it all was. How amazingly domestic his life was becoming.

He was _so _in love.

And he was _so _fucked.

How the hell was Todd supposed to get through the years and years of marriage ahead of them if Todd was already in shambles over just being engaged for a few weeks?

“Are you alright, Todd?” Dirk asked as he unlocked the door, shaking him out of his reverie.

“Yeah. Just a little… Just… It’s hard to believe how quickly this is all going. Not that that’s bad.” Todd added quickly at the look of apprehension from Dirk. “It’s just different.”

“Yeah.” Dirk seemed to be thinking, “Let’s actually have a lazy day. We tried to have one a while back, but it was so _rudely _interrupted by your sister.”

Todd laughed. “Well, what do you suggest for our lazy day, Mr. Gently?” He asked, grinning stupidly.

“Well, Mr. Brotzman, we have Netflix. Which, last time I checked, had the Great British Bake Off. There is nothing more relaxing, nor more lazy than watching people cooking, I promise.”

“Let’s do it then.” The idea that a cooking competition would be relaxing was a little suspect to Todd, who had grown up with things like Hell’s Kitchen, which was anything but relaxing. But nonetheless, he allowed Dirk to set up the episode as they settled into the couch.

Todd was quickly hooked. It was so much better than any of the American cooking competitions. People weren’t trying to backstab others, and no one was screaming. Mary Berry was kind, and the two women that waked around and gave the instructions were funny and didn’t ridicule the contestants. Everyone seemed to care about their competitors, even if it meant giving advice or help to- as Todd was sure was said on Hell’s Kitchen- the Enemy.

Dirk kept interrupting to tell him about each competitor, about what they’d made previously, and how well they had done. Todd usually hated people that talked over shows and movies, but this he just found endearing. (Just more proof of how fucked he was).

Their lazy day was- once again- interrupted by a ringing of Todd's phone. Todd laughed, rolled his eyes, and answered without even looking at the caller ID, expecting his sister.

"Amanda, I-"

"Don't think Icarus can get away with this."

Todd froze at the sound of Priest's voice.

"I'm going to get him. Maybe not this time. But if you think I'm stupid enough to fall for this bullshit, then you've got something else coming."

"Is everything alright, Todd?" Dirk asked, concerned at the expression of terror on Todd's face.

"No. You're wrong." Todd answered, focusing on Dirk's eyes to ground himself before he broke and started panicking.

"If that's what lets you sleep at night, go right ahead believing that."

The previously comforting sound of the Great British Bake Off was turning sinister, as if Priest was manipulating that as well.

"You're never getting him." Todd tried to keep the wavering out of his voice. To no avail, though, because Priest was laughing- an ugly and frightening sound.

"Like I said. Enjoy your wedding, Brotzman."

Todd was vaguely aware that he was shaking.

"Todd." Dirk grabbed him by the shoulders. "Todd, listen to me. What happened?"

"Priest." Was all that Todd needed to say. Horror struck his face, which morphed into guilt.

"This is my fault, Todd. I should-"

"Whatever the hell you're about to suggest, no. I'm not leaving. I'm not going to abandon you to be hunted down by that madman. No." The more Todd spoke, the firmer his voice got, and the less frightened he was. He was determined, he was going to protect Dirk if he had to do it till his last breath.

"I'm sorry." Dirk muttered.

"I know. But it doesn't matter to me. I'm gonna- I'm gonna care about you no matter what, I'm gonna stick with you until you get tired of me."

Todd had never been so certain about something in his life.

“I’ll never get tired of you.” Dirk whispered, “Never.”

There was an air of seriousness to his voice that Todd couldn’t quite place.

“Yeah you will, I’m a mess.” Todd joked, trying to lighten the mood.

“But you’re a _nice _mess.” Dirk insisted, pleading working its way into his voice in a way that, once again, Todd couldn’t decipher.

This meant more to Todd than he could put into words. That someone _knew _he was a disaster, but thought of him as nice- thought of him kindly- despite this.

“Let’s just ignore Priest,” Todd suggested. “Just… Keep watching.”

Dirk smiled. “Let’s.”

He pressed play, and the episode continued.

After a moment, Dirk pressed a light kiss to the top of Todd’s head. “Thank you.” He muttered, “For everything.”

Todd could feel all the meaning that Dirk was trying to convey with his words. He could feel the thanks for the phone call, for the wedding, for looking for him, for being his friend.

“Any time.” Todd told him, just as soft, just as gentle.

He wasn’t even surprised that he meant it.


	5. Chapter 5

They fell asleep on the couch, and when Todd woke up with his head resting on Dirk’s shoulder, Dirk’s arm slung around his shoulders, the first thing he saw was Netflix’s message asking him ‘Are you still watching “The Great British Bake-Off”?’

Todd quietly clicked ‘Exit’ and slipped out of Dirk’s grasp. He was surprised that he’d woken earlier than Dirk, but he tried to not make too much noise as to not wake him.

That only lasted a solid twenty minutes, because as he was trying to fry up an omelet (which would have been an interesting feat for a man who’d never attempted to do so in his life), he got somewhat distracted by twitter, and didn’t notice the smell of burning until the smoke alarm went off.

Dirk woke with a startle as the first sound of beeping. Todd saw a dazed and confused panic seemed to cross his face before Todd himself ran back to the kitchen with a muttered swear and burning embarrassment.

“Todd, what’s going on?” Dirk’s voice warbled through the racket.

“Burnt an omelet, gimme a sec.”

Laughter could be heard from the kitchen even over the sound of the alarm.

After throwing remnants of what could have been an omelet in the sink, setting the fan at full speed, and throwing open the window, Todd collapsed onto the hammock chair.

He winced at the amused look that Dirk was giving him.

“Sorry.”

“Now Todd, we’ve talked about you using the stove without adult supervision.”

Todd threw his sock at him.

“Never mind, I’m not sorry, you suck.”

Farah called at around half past nine to tell them that the floral company they’d been looking at had given them a price estimate.

Calla lilies, Dirk’s favorite flower, were more expensive than they’d thought, but Dirk plowed through, insisting that he’d pay and that they mustn’t worry about how much he was spending.

“Think of this as me giving a gift to myself. This is my wedding, so I’m having my flowers at it.”

Todd complained out of habit, but he knew the battle had been lost.

The next day came with the crushing realization that the wedding was only two weeks out. Despite the planning being just about done, Todd still felt just as nervous as ever.

His mother called, which didn’t quite help matters. Even though he’d done everything from coming out, to telling them about his actual pararibulitis, he still felt massively uncomfortable with the idea of talking casually with his parents.

But that’s what they wanted from him, so he would deliver.

“Todd, sweetheart, what’s the color scheme for the wedding? You know how Patty is.”

“Oh, yellow and purple, I’ll be in purple if she wanted to match with my side of the aisle, so to speak. Not that we’re really doing sides of the aisle.” He winced, remembering the fact that Dirk would have no one there for him at his own wedding. His stomach churned uneasily.

“Oh? Why is that?”

_Damn his mother for being so nosy._

“It’s a long story, mom. Dirk doesn’t have family to speak of. It’s not for me to tell, though, so…” He trailed off, boring a hole in the floor with his gaze.

When Dirk slid into the living room on socked feet, looking frantic.

“_Todd_,” He hissed, “_We forgot to invite your friends.”_

“Shit!” Todd swore, “Sorry, mom, I’ve gotta go, I forgot to invite Max and Chrissy.” He hung up on his mother with another apology.

“Well.” Todd said to Dirk, “Fuck.”

Dirk snorted. “Yeah I think that sums it up.”

Max and Chrissy had been high school sweethearts that Todd had known through his previous job as a bellhop, Max was one of the receptionists at the Perriman, and they’d bonded over their mutual distaste for the company, their boss, and the shitty job in general.

They were the only one from the company that had bothered to keep in touch with Todd after he’d been fired. They’d been quite upset to hear the news, and Todd had had to talk them down from quitting.

Todd scrolled through his contacts, and finally hit the ‘call’ button next Max’s name in his contacts.

“Todd!”

“Hey, Max.”

“Well fuckin’ hell, you sound guilty. What’d you do this time?”

“Are you and Chrissy free the 8th? Like, in two weeks?” Todd grimaced, knowing that he was going to be shouted at soon.

“Shit, Todd, you think I keep a calendar or something? Chrissy is, she never works- that’s a Wednesday, right?”

“Yeah.”

“But I _think_ I might be working? If you want to get together, the 29th of this month would work better.”

“Yeah, but this is kinda… Well, it’s an event. That can’t really be rescheduled.” Todd scratched at the back of his neck, practically radiating his awkwardness.

“O…kay, so what’s the event?” Max sounded like they were getting suspicious.

“I’m getting married.”

There was a full five seconds of silence from the other end.

“You’re _what_.”

“It’s a really new development, I mean, we’ve been together for a while now, but he was gonna get deported so I had to-”

“Todd. You’re getting fucking _married _and, what? You forgot to invite me?” There was the shouting.

“To be fair this all started about a month ago.”

“_Chris! Get your ass over here so I can tell you what this asshole did!_” Max shouted away from the phone.

There was shuffling in the background, until Chrissy was apparently given the phone.

“Todd? What is Max so pissed at you about?”

Todd sighed, and decided to just rip off the band-aid. “I’m getting married two weeks from today and I forgot to invite you two.”

She gave a bark of laughter after another moment of silence. “Wow, you are fucked. Wednesday the 8th, right? You’d best be glad your shithead of an ex-boss owes them a favor, otherwise I don’t think you’d be alive to get married.”

“Does that mean you guys can come?”

“We’ll work it out, Todd. Don’t worry about it. Worry about Max fuckin’ murdering you, but don’t worry about us not being there.”

Todd let out a sigh of relief.

“I’ll put them back on the phone now. Congrats dude.”

Max sounded genuinely excited when they spoke, “So, who is this guy? It’d better be that detective guy that you went AWOL for. I mean, going cross-country trying to find him is romantic as fuck, even if it does make your friends worry about you.”

“Yeah, it’s Dirk.” Todd smiled, fondly looking over at his fiancé, who was now fiddling on his own phone. Probably playing some stupidly shiny ‘match three’ game.

“Well? We gonna meet him or what?”

“Course you can meet him, Max. I’m not barring you from doing so, just name a date.”

“The 29th? Neither Chrissy or I work on Mondays, and you’ve got your snazzy new detective agency job that makes you miraculously free unless you’re in fuckin’ Montana or some shit.”

“Yeah the 29th works. I’ll have you know that this ‘snazzy new detective agency job’ is more work than you’d think. Sometimes we even have to fill out a form.” He bit back a grin at the offended look that was now directed at him from Dirk.

“I’ll have you know that I’ve never filled out one of those forms Farah gives us.” Dirk remarked drily, but he couldn’t help but keep a smirk on his face.

Todd laughed, “That’s ‘cause _I _end up having to fill them out for you, dumbass.”

Max laughed from the other end of the line. “Right, I’ll leave you to your little argument with your _fiancé _and text you when I know when Chrissy and I’ll be available on Monday.” They were still laughing as they hung up.

“You don’t fill out _all _of my forms.” Dirk grumbled.

“No, but only because the ones that I don’t fill out, Farah ends up filling out.”

Dirk had to give that one to Todd.

Max texted Todd on the 28th telling him that the 29th would work fine, and ‘could we do your place? Mine and Chrissy’s is a mess.’

After making sure with Dirk that he could offer up their place, he sent a text of confirmation to Max.

Todd 3:42 P.M.- Dirk says that'll work. Really sorry again. I'll explain the suddenness in person.

Max 3:43 P.M.- I love you todd but you stress me tf out

Todd put his phone in his pocket, finally able to relax about the Max-and-Chrissy situation.

He stared at Dirk. “Two weeks.” He said, with unabashed wonderment in his voice.

Dirk softened. “I know. It doesn’t feel real.” He winced, “I mean-”

“Yeah,” Todd's insides churned. “All this work, prep, and it's only two weeks away.”

“Yeah…” Dirk’s voice was almost distant.

Todd stretched, working the aches out of his muscles- tired from sitting all day.

“Hey,” Todd smiled lightly, “You know what we need to practice?”

Dirk cocked his head in a silent question.

Todd didn’t respond in favor of pulling up the music app on his phone and hitting play. The first chords of ‘And I Love Him' started playing.

“Mr. Gently, may I have this dance?” Todd held out a hand for Dirk to take.

“I suppose I should practice.” Dirk smiled at him, but his face was somewhat flushed.

Dirk took his hand, and placed his other hand on Todd's shoulder, leaving Todd to put his other on Dirk's waist- which he did with a thrilling bolt of electricity that ran up his arm, and settled in his chest.

They were clumsy- though Todd was proud to say that that was mostly Dirk, who couldn’t seem to lead to save his life. They ended up switching- Todd leaving- which (while still a minor disaster) was somewhat more coordinated.

They barely noticed when the song switched from 'And I Love Him' to a song that Todd had only bought when Amanda had told him to. But it was soft and sweet, and they just kept dancing.

_'I will not ask you where you came from_

_I will not ask and neither should you_

_Honey just put your sweet lips on my lips_

_We should just kiss like real people do.'_

Perhaps Todd was drunk on the romanticism of it all, because he found himself whole-heartedly agreeing with Hozier on this count.

Todd's hand had migrated from Dirk’s shoulder to the crevice of his neck at some point, though Dirk didn’t seem to have noticed- or perhaps he just didn’t carcare.

Dirk's honey-sweet gaze caused Todd's insides to melt.

_'We should just kiss like real people do.’_

So they did. Todd kissed Dirk, bringing his hand up to Dirk's cheek.

They stopped dancing.

Dirk kissed him back in earnest.

They kept kissing, getting more and more desperate, and before long, Dirk had shoved him down and was straddling him on the couch.

Todd felt the same astonishing electricity that he'd felt when Dirk had first kissed him what felt like forever ago

Finally, Todd couldn’t keep quiet, and moaned loudly into Dirk's mouth. His flash of embarrassment didn’t last too long though, because Dirk seemed to only be emboldened by the noise.

When they broke apart, gasping for air, Todd couldn’t find words to say, nothing seemed to explain how he felt in that moment.

Dirk was still straddling him.

A Damn Otters song was playing vaguely in the background- having moved on from Hozier, but Todd didn’t even hear it.

“Todd.” Dirk’s voice was somewhat husky. A sound that made Todd's gut wobble.

“Do you think we should… talk about this?” Dirk asked

“Okay.” Todd replied, a bit awkwardly.

Neither said anything for a solid minute. Dirk slipped off of Todd's lap halfway through (much to Todd's disappointment).

“Todd…” Dirk's voice was no longer husky, “Is this just… part of the ruse for you? Because it really isn’t for me. I've… you’ve become my best friend, really from the last twenty years, and you've been so… what I'm trying to say is that I'm in love with you.” Dirk wasn’t looking at Todd, he had his head turned instead to Todd's phone which was playing the last few bars of ‘Scattershot'.

“Dirk, I've been in love with you since I went cross-country trying to find you, probably before. “

“Oh.” Dirk whispered.

They sat in silence for another few moments.

“We're getting married in two weeks.” Todd said, returning to his earlier sentiment with a newfound awe.

Dirk grinned. “_Finally_.”

Todd cocked his head.

“I've been waiting for this since you threw your shoe at me.”

“You- really?”

Dirk nodded, smiling sweetly. “Love at first sight. It was a hunch, really.”

“You’ve had a hunch that we were gonna get married since you broke into my apartment?”

“Something like that.” Dirk shrugged.

“And you never told me?”

“Well,” Dirk scoffed, “You weren’t exactly excited to be friends with me. Let alone _marry _me.”

“Fair.” Todd conceded.

They were silent again, uncertain of what to say.

"I should go tell Amanda about this. I don't think hiding it from her would be a good idea, what with..." Todd trailed off, ears burning with shame.

"Completely understandable." Dirk smiled at him, "I hope it goes well."

"Thanks."

Todd paused, and before he could convince himself to not, he kissed Dirk's cheek, and stood to head to his old room to make the call privately.

"Hey 'Manda."

"Bitch. Whatcha need?"

"So, don't tell mom and dad, they'll do nothing but panic, but... the whole marriage thing was going to just be a purely green card marriage, until, well... let's just say that you were always right about Dirk. And I'm sorry that I lied to you, I shouldn't have, but I didn't know if we were going to be found out, and I'd rather you be safe than in jail or something because you'd known." Todd said this all very fast, heart pounding.

Amanda was quiet, and Todd's heart sped up tenfold, and just as he was about to say something, Amanda started to laugh.

"Dude, you are _such_ a trope. This is straight up something from a rom-com. I feel like I should be mad at you, but this is just too fucking funny to be mad at you about."

Todd was relieved, though a little peeved that she was laughing at him. "You don't have to be mean about it." He grumbled.

"So I was right, huh?"

Todd could hear her smirk from through the phone.

"What happened?" She asked.

"Well we were practicing dancing, and the song ended, and that Hozier song that you bullied me into buying started up, and I just kinda… kissed him." Todd flopped onto the bed, feeling an eerie sense of Deja vu to the times he'd talk about his various college crushes to a small, pre-teen Amanda, who was not so much interested in learning about who Todd was crushing on as much as she was interested in poking fun at her older brother.

"Oh, Theodore Brotzman, maybe you're less of a bottom than I thought." She teased.

Todd snorted, and made an 'Ehh' noise. He was man enough to admit that he wasn't about to top.

Amanda practically cackled.

As they both stopped laughing, Amanda spoke up again, "I'm happy for you, y'know. Really."

"Thank you." Todd said, thanking her both for being happy, and for not being upset with him.

"Have a good night, Todd, and remember: be polite." Her voice was mirthful, "If he sucks your dick, you've gotta return the favor."

She hung up before he could get a word in.

He muttered something rude under his breath, and headed back into the living room, giving Dirk a small smile to let him know that it had gone alright.

That night, as Todd lay in bed, listening to Dirk's breathing not slowing or steadying, he finally spoke up.

"Hey if you want to... 'koala' me to help you sleep, that's okay. It'd be kinda nice actually."

"Oh _good_." Dirk whispered back happily, and Todd felt an arm snaking along his waist, and Dirk pressed his chest close enough to Todd's back that he could feel Dirk's heartbeat as it slowed when he fell asleep.

Dirk was still wrapped around him as he woke, though it took Todd a moment to remember that they'd started the night like that.

Dirk seemed to be half-awake already, so Todd twisted to face him, then kiss him softly.

Dirk's lips curled into a smile even as he kissed back.

"I could get used to this." Dirk muttered.

"Then you will." Todd promised.

Todd had completely forgotten about Chrissy and Max coming over until he heard a knock on the door, still curled up in his pajamas.

“Shit,” He scrambled out of bed, whacking Dirk to tell him to get up as well.

“Coming!” He shouted in the vague direction of the door.

He didn’t even bother changing his shirt, instead he just shoved on jeans over the boxers that he’d slept in.

He answered the door, still bleary eyed and out of it.

Max caught onto it immediately, they’d seen him tired and not ready for work plenty of times when they’d worked at the Perriman.

“Forget about us again, did you?”

“It’s not like that and you know it.” Todd mock-scowled, “Come in.”

As Todd closed the door, and Chrissy and Max were taking off their shoes, Dirk slipped out into the living room looking damn near perfect, (which Todd couldn’t figure out whether he found endearing or annoying).

“So here he is!” Chrissy exclaimed, nudging Max to tell them to look up.

“Hi.” Dirk gave an awkward wave. Todd had noticed some time ago, that after a while of knowing Todd, Dirk had become more nervous when talking to people that mattered to Todd. It was kind of sweet.

“Y’know,” Max said, looking curiously at Dirk, “I’m not interested in men, but he’s cute, Todd.”

Dirk looked pleased with himself, and Todd just rolled his eyes.

“So?” Chrissy prompted, “What’s up? Tell us everything.”

So Todd began to explain, first their story about The Sound of Nothing concert (omitting the magical elements), to Dirk being threatened with deportation, to their rushed decision to get married.

“I really did mean to invite you earlier, I even ordered the invitations for you guys, I just got so caught up in everything that was happening, that I guess I forgot to send out the invitations for you.” Todd looked sheepish at the very least.

Chrissy and Max didn’t stay too long, knowing that Dirk and Todd would be busy, with the wedding just a week away.

And so, it was back to filling out forms for Dirk’s green card, finalizing things with Treehouse Point (they’d decided on that as the location soon after Todd had given Dirk his ring), and sharing sweet kisses over lunch.

Just as that day had passed uneventfully, so did the next days after it.

Because they had been working on a time crunch, Mr. Mariano just barely got them their suits- and the girls their dresses- because it was Monday the 6th when he called to have them pick everything up.

“Try everything on,” He urged them, “Just to make sure.”

They all four split into separate dressing rooms, and as Todd got his suit on, he couldn’t help but admire himself in the mirror. He rarely wore anything that was so colorful (despite this being a dark purple), but Dirk had picked out the color and style, and he couldn’t help but love it.

He was _handsome._

He grinned at his reflection one last time, turned on his heel, and opened the door.

Dirk was already standing in the hall, and as he caught sight of Todd, his expression softened and melted.

Todd grinned again, different from how he’d looked at himself in the dressing room, his smile was sweeter, more sincere.

Finally, Todd looked away from Dirk’s face, and took in the yellow three-piece-suit. He looked incredible, hands in his pockets, looking somehow casual in the outfit, despite it being quite fancy.

“You look amazing.” Todd finally told him, knowing that he had a ridiculous grin on his face, but he couldn’t find it in him to care.

“So do you.” Dirk said, voice just as soft as his expression.

Todd was punched in the shoulder as Amanda appeared by his side.

“Hey, ‘Manda.” He looked over at her, “You look fantastic! So do you, Farah.”

Farah nodded in thanks. Amanda twirled in her dress. “I know, I look incredible!”

After chatting for a time more, Mr. Mariano told them that he had another group coming in, so Dirk swept them away after saying his goodbyes to him.

Back in his regular t-shirt and jeans, Todd felt a little disappointed that he couldn’t wear the suit for longer. He supposed he was starting to understand why Dirk always wore a dress shirt and a tie.

They stood outside the tailors, and Amanda pulled Todd into a bone-crushing hug that reminded him how much stronger his sister was than him.

“Can’t wait to see you up there tomorrow.” She whispered into his ear.

“Can’t wait to be there.”

She let go, and Todd almost caught a glimpse of tears in her eyes, but she turned to Farah before he could make sure.

“Let’s leave these love birds to it, shall we?”

Farah nodded, and let Amanda drag her away, telling her about a bar that was just around the corner that Farah just _had _to try.

“Ready?” Dirk asked.

“Yeah.” Todd took Dirk’s hand. “I am.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, this probably isn't over, I'm almost definitely going to write a sequel of the wedding itself.
> 
> Thanks!!


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